For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
- use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
- use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
“Steph Curry with the pop’ I yelled as Curry sunk a three in his small New York apartment, then it cut to Breaking news as he heard a bang nearby followed by screams
He ran to his window and saw the destruction that is the city. Then he ran down stairs outside to the police department.
I grabbed my gear and bolted into the car and then speed off down the road to Times Square. It was a grid lock on the motorway so hopped out and ran the rest of the way about 4 kilometres.
When I finally got to Times Square there was destruction and chaos everywhere people with cuts down their body people crying, some missing things like arms and legs thousands of people were in shock and in unbelievable pain and all I did for about a minute was stand in shock looking at the destruction and terror.
Then I went and helped with getting people out from under the Rubble and with the crowd control and when I was on the rubble I saw a intact security camera I ran over and took the memory card out then took it back to the makeshift setup with the computer the computers then we spot a person putting a bag down and walking away without it “Hey,wait go back a second, right there” as I point at a man with a bag in his about to put it on the ground. “Put the city in lockdown,the guy who did this could still be here, put his picture all over the city,could you tell me if you get a sighting from the public’ I said.
About one hour later we got a reported sighting of the guy by the statue of liberty I raced over to the statue of liberty. When i got there I couldn’t see him in the crowd so I went to the outskirts of the crowd and spotted him then I yelled “Hey!” Then he ran and then I yelled “stop”then he ran to one of the boats that was going to the Statue of Liberty and he hoped on after chasing him I called for back up and then I jumped from the dock on to the boat as it was leaving and then we had a fist fight in the middle of the boat. Then we docked and then ran after he punched me in the stomach once I got of the ground I ran after him
then I saw him holding a man by the neck with a gun pointed at him he y lied “stop, don't take another step”. After a 2 minute stalemate I took another step then he shot the man and me in the foot and dropped his and ran up the Statue of Liberty after groning in pain for about 3 minutes I got up and walked up the stairs.
Once I got to the top saw him sobbing and said sorry and then... he jumped through the day indie in the crown then I heard screams from the bottom of the statue. I went down and then I saw people putting him in body bag then I got badged up and got crouches then went back to the station to a round of applause from everyone there and they started calling me a hero. Three months later I could start helping with the rebuild of the city and after I got awarded a medal for bravery.